Sorry...

I am sorry, I haven't posted in forever. Been really busy and a bit lazy concerning my blog.

But I wanted to share a few things real quick...

First I am going to start teaching a class here in Okinawa most likely... I will probably be teaching Apologetics.

Also, I haven't had a job for a while, but it has allowed me to much better prepare for my class.

I just wanted to share something too...

Am I a barren temple
Left for newer ways
Of speaking mysteries my veils cannot contain
Should I prepare
To winter spend again
Of silent centuries' speech for only certain men

What if I wait to find You've gone
What if Your presence was withdrawn
And I was mistaken all alone
To think I could become Your home
It'd be no surprise to finally know

I am truly alone
Come then but likely sooner I'll be alone

You moved your temple
Inside our bones and limbs
So hard to trust that You won't move again
For all eternity
You stould with Your Father in perfect unity
And when You walked the earth
You only went where He led
You only spoke what He said
So for everything You left
And all of the glory You forfeit
No matter how low You were sent
You still couldn't know what it's like to be alone

Disgraced but you were never alone
Betrayed but you were never alone
Tortured but still never alone
And nothing is worse than being alone

I have been thinking hard about us trading place
Maybe I can wear Your beauty if You put on my shame
Jesus I've been trying so hard to look like You
That I almost missed the worst of what I put You through
You didn't die for sins
You died covered in them
A prideful lying thief gasping out my final breath

For that one moment
You looked just like me
Your Father left you
And You died completely alone.

For me You were alone
You couldn't marry so He left You all alone
No better promise than sympathy
(You conquered death all alone)
Cause You know the deepest of all my needs
Never again, never alone


This song is by a band called My Epic. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsO1MNmNcVc&feature=fvsr

But like this song really spoke to me. As a lot of times we feel that we are alone.

And like we look at our lives and we think how can God be with me, everything is going wrong.

And then we are so often to imitate Christ, but like all through Christ's life we see that He was always following the Father, and He was never alone.

Yeah we know in Hebrews it tells us that He has gone through all temptations and all trials, but we see in His life He always had the Father. And like He was never alone through it all as the Father was always with Him.

So many times we feel that we are just not worthy to have God come to us. We are not worthy to have the Father inside of us.

But then like when we look at what Christ did on the cross...

We so often think of Jesus dying for sins, but I love that line... You didn't die for sins, You died covered in them...

And like that is so true... When Christ was on the cross He died covered in our sin... He didn't die pure... He died the worst sinner... He was covered in our sin at that moment... And like God forsook Him.

Christ took all our sin upon Himself, and became sin and took the penalty... He died alone, forsaken by the Father.

He died with no one that was able to be with Him... He was alone even forsaken by the Father.... He took on death all alone. 

Because really our deepest need is to not be alone, but to have a relationship with the Father. And He died alone so we wouldn't have to.

Then I also wanted to share this song by the same band... Its called Lazarus.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1DC2zuU9qk

I can't sing that song the same way anymore
Cause I start laughing at the parts where I could only weep before
And it sounds sweeter now because the notes can't ring
until they echo through each wasted year that You restored to me

I've been thinking of how You wept for Lazarus
Tears on Your cheeks, resurrection on Your lips
Sometimes mercy can feel like abandonment
But You know all about it

I used to this I had to write these songs just so
For heavens sake and for my own I put myself through hell
But I quit striving for perfection surrendered up to it instead
And now the songs keep pouring out and I cannot contain myself

I've been thinking of how You wept for Lazarus.
Tears on Your cheeks, resurrection on Your lips
(Broken will)
Sometimes mercy feels just like abandonment
(Find your rest / Broken voice)
You let my heart die, but left Yours beating in my chest
(You sing best)

At 30,000 feet above, the earth was small enough to think of everyone I love
And then imagine them a thousand mirrors all reflect it back at once
and any light would multiply and then remind me
that Your love is more than the sum

This song can go along with the other one.

I can't sing that song the same way anymore
Cause I start laughing at the parts where I could only weep before
And it sounds sweeter now because the notes can't ring
until they echo through each wasted year that You restored to me

This verse is pretty awesome... Like so many times we look back and like... In times that were hard we look at them and we see how God's hand was on it... And like... We so may times look at those things that used to trouble us so much and we can only laugh in joy because like how God took care of it... And its awesome because like... We can see how God just used those times that we wasted.

I've been thinking of how You wept for Lazarus
Tears on Your cheeks, resurrection on Your lips
Sometimes mercy can feel like abandonment
But You know all about it

Then like its so cool... We like can look at like Lazarus.... And I mean Jesus wept... Lazarus died... I mean Jesus could have been there and saved Lazarus... But Jesus gave Lazarus mercy... I mean Lazarus did not deserve this miracle of being raised from the dead... But it was mercy when Jesus let him die... And like in our lives... Sometimes God shows us mercy by letting us come to the point of just dying to something... I know at times in my life... I just needed to be brought to the point of where I needed to die... I was still trying to live in areas of my life where I just needed to let them go into the arms of God... But I kept getting in the way... So God allowed me to just die... To go through hardships until I just died in His arms and surrendered. But like... It hurts God to see us suffer, like Jesus wept at the suffering of everyone at Lazarus' death... But there was resurrection on His lips. I mean sometimes God lets us die to these things, but He brings us back to life and we can just see in those times how He is taking care of each and every thing.

I used to this I had to write these songs just so
For heavens sake and for my own I put myself through hell
But I quit striving for perfection surrendered up to it instead
And now the songs keep pouring out and I cannot contain myself 

And like... So many times we think that we do all these good things and work for Heaven's sake... But for our own sake we put ourselves through so much trouble... We try to be better. We try to be good, and we hurt ourselves so much because we want to be better for what God has for us.

But we need to quit striving to be perfect and we need to surrender to our perfect God, and then all these good things will just pour out of us... We will not be able to contain them.

I've been thinking of how You wept for Lazarus.
Tears on Your cheeks, resurrection on Your lips
(Broken will)
Sometimes mercy feels just like abandonment
(Find your rest / Broken voice)
You let my heart die, but left Yours beating in my chest
(You sing best)

And I mean again we can think of how sometimes God lets us die so we can see... We cannot be perfect on our own... And then He will bring us back to life... He lets this heart die so that He can put His there. When our will is broken we can find His rest... When our voice cries out to Him in brokenness, we can sing the best songs to God.

At 30,000 feet above, the earth was small enough to think of everyone I love
And then imagine them a thousand mirrors all reflect it back at once
and any light would multiply and then remind me
that Your love is more than the sum

And then this... This is such a beautiful picture...

If we were taken above the earth to see the whole world... And everyone who ever loved us were to hold a mirror towards us... All the light it reflect could be multiplied and whatever but like... God's love is more than the sum... He is going to help us. He is good...

Then like the last song I wanna share called Author.

I have nothing new to say. The world is so terribly big, it keeps spinning and shaking loose all my constants and making me see that the sun has been burning too long to have not shed its light in every direction.

All I know is that beautiful in me is You... beautiful in me is You.
(All... I... know...) Every good thing, every true thing, beautiful in me is You, beautiful in me is You.
(All... I... know...) Every good thing, every true thing, beautiful in me is You, beautiful in me is You.
(All... I... know...) Every good thing, every true thing, beautiful in me is You, beautiful in me is You.

I see a thousand young men, they're all marching in time with the war on their doorsteps and their lovers behind them, and all of their glory flows back to their master, but they care not for honor, for they wear His robes.

I'm tired of striving to be, who You already say that I am. I am Yours...

Take what You need to take, say what You need to say to make me who I am meant to be, You can have it all. Take what You need to take, say what You need to say to make me who I am meant to be, You can have it all.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AoW9-j85sjU